That's All Folks!

Things I’ll Miss:

-The colors at the vegetable markets-the fruit piled up in neat pyramids and the women with their bright saris sitting cross legged on carts selling produce

-The parade in Udaipur-the hand-held chandelier lights, decorated horses,  and Hindi electronic music with a crowd of boys dancing behind with fireworks

-Getting so familiar with chai that I could assess the acute differences between them ("Mmm this has a bit more cardamom than I prefer...")

-Chandra-ji’s hospitality-he brought me a lassi just because I mentioned in passing that I liked them 

-Stick dancing with the little girls that wore more makeup and jewelry than any adult I'd ever seen at the Dashara festival in Ogna village

-Picking oranges at my host-family's land in Lingee, Sikkim

-Sitting in the clay room by the fire with my host-grandfather talking about art in Lingee, Sikkim

-Walking in the park with Chandra-ji and Ankit (my host-brother)

-The 24-7 support from the staff and my friends

-How comfy Indian clothes are-OMG pajama pants all the time

-5 rupee biscuits! (that's 10 cents.)

-Diwali and Bhai Tika celebrations with my host-family in Sikkim

-Stimulating lunch conversations with my friends after lectures

-Drinking lassis out of clay cups

-Eating fresh chapatis cooked over fire soaked in buffalo butter

Things I Won’t Miss:

-TRAIN BATHROOMS

-Street dogs

-Having to constantly worry about not touching my face or contaminating anything

-The constant use of hand sanitizer
-Being sick....go away waterborne bacteria!

-No personal space

-Getting touched-poked-grabbed by beggar children when I don't give them money

-Getting whistled/stared at/sang at/physically groped by men

-Not being able to communicate well in either English or Hindi

-Having to come to terms with the fact  that people are always going to be staring at me-or most likely talking about me in a language I don’t understand

-Being overcharged for everything because I look foreign

-Having to adhere to the gender norms for women-not staying out late, covering up my body, avoiding making excessive eye-contact with men

-People spitting all over the place (Dadi-ji (my host-grandmother in Jaipur) blowing her nose on my floor)

-Never feeling fully clean

-Constantly being skeptical of people’s intentions/what shopkeepers tell you ("This is camel leather! My family makes these! I found these boxes in my grandmother’s house! You’re my first customer of the day!")

-Being too cold in Sikkim to take a shower-hence 8 days null

Things that Caught Me Off-Guard:

-The beggar children with no shoes, disheveled hair, no food

-Parents slapping their young children on the train

-Cows really do rule the road

-Getting asked if I was married....by everybody

-Personal questions (How much $ does your father make?)
-The slums
-The extreme poverty
-The trash in public spaces

Funny things:

-The non-sensical graphic t-shirts with weird English phrases “Facebook...let’s Tweet?”

-Men wearing sparkling sweaters

-People's obsession with Angry Birds themed clothing/accessories

-Elephants and camels waiting at traffic lights along with rickshaws and motorcycles

-Being entirely CIRCLED by a group of 40 Indian men wearing shawls while playing SET card game on the platform

-How my host-mom would blast Hindu blessing mantras in order to mute the sound of her aunt she hates downstairs

-MIsspelled/funny menu items- chocolate barf, hot chocolage, Obama omelet- with white and brown toast,” Twinkle Twinkle Little Baby, “Banana Crap”

-”America is a mixed vegetable”- Jaisalmeer fort shopkeeper talking about the different kinds of tourists he meets

-How hard candy is a viable substitute for small change

Things that Hit Me:

-The sunset on the roof-top in Udaipur with Jess and Maddy

-The people at the Pakastani Stateless Citizens Camp-their hopelessness was something I couldn't really handle

-Sitting at the dam in Ogna listening to the sounds of the jungle the cows, the women, the chickens, the mantras

-TAJ MAHAL

-The road-side villages on the way to Lingee

-Waking up in the desert in the morning- the red color of the sand

-Waking up in the middle of the night in the desert and seeing the clearest stars I've ever seen.

Things I like:

-How women in Sikkim wear cardigans over their saris when it’s cold

-The Bhatt's living room with no furniture-just matts

-Diwali lights hanging from the buildings- it reminds me of Christmas!

-Driving in a taxi with the windows down listening to Hindi music

-Camel man teaching me how to wear my dupatta in a desert way

-Random man showing Miranda, Andrea and me his old house with the Indigo paintings in Jaisalmeer

-Being given nail polish by the beauty parlor girl sitting in the jeep waiting to go to Lingee in Silguri

-The sandstone buildings with intricate cut-work in Jailsameer

-Manoj-ji giving me his jacket during the ISP

Things I’ve learned:

-How to bargain

-how to rip chapati with one hand

-How to use an eastern toilet

-How to tell eve-teasing guys to STFU

-How to not judge-there is no right and wrong way to do/think about things

-How to be unnoticed (as possible)

-How to breathe effortlessly through my mouth

-How to ask questions and keep people engaged

-How to jump into situations that i know NOTHING about-and just trust the process that things won’t fall apart

-How to wear the same shirt for 14 days and have it NOT smell

-How to answer questions vaguely as to not give much personal information while still being friendly

-Washing my clothes with a bucket

-Washing my feet with my....feet

-How to be comfortable not fitting in/feeling out of place

-How to survive on a LOT LESS than I’m used to

-How to sum up America in 1 sentence- "people eat sandwiches"

-How cotton/sesame seeds/okra/pomegranates really grow!

The End? Throughout this semester, I’ve been asked over and over, “So, why did you come to India?” To be honest, I never could give anyone a satisfying answer. I know why I DIDN’T come here though-I wasn’t looking for spiritual enlightenment or to  “find” myself or to feel more cultured or be reassured of my privileged position in the world.  Yet, as I near the end of this journey, I’m starting to realize why it is I really came here and what value it has for me. 

More so now than ever, I realize how lucky I am. You definitely don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone (or at least 8,000 miles away.) I know I have an incredibly supportive family and caring friends waiting for me back home. I’m lucky to be physically able and mentally stable which is something I took so easily for granted before coming here. I can afford things I don’t need, wear what I want, and make my own decisions. I’m lucky to be an American. America, with all of it’s problems, is a wonderful country. I am so thankful to be a woman living in the USA where I have the freedom to live however I choose. After witnessing firsthand the brutal oppression of Indian women and experiencing a fair share of gendered-discrimination myself, I feel I have a responsibility to do whatever I can on behalf of all women to improve their lives. So next semester and hopefully afterwards, I will be interning at the Women Helping Battered Women NGO in Burlington. In accordance with one of the main tenants of this program- “Change begins with the community,” I’m going to do what I can in my community to improve the lives of the people in it. 

This may sound all idealistic and high and mighty-and maybe I am just riding the high at the moment-but even if I do come down, I know my perspective has been shifted and my values have been both solidified and debunked. So, I know things will be different. I’m not sure how these things will come into play when I am plopped back into my old surroundings-but for the first time in a long time, I feel I’m on the path I’m supposed to be and I’m excited for what’s to come.