A Celebration!

I woke up this Saturday morning with NO PLANS! I’ve forgotten what this feels like....along with how ice tastes, what rain feels like, and cookies...mm...cookies. *SIDE NOTE*- Ovens are very rare here. Most things are cooked on stove-tops....alas...no warm cookies. 

Anywho, I came downstairs to a newly decorated living-room to do some reading. My family changes the curtains and mat-coverings every week....and each new set of decorations is more colorful than the last. (See pixilated-photobooth photo below.)

My host-mother came in and sat down with me and told me that today they have a lot of “work” to do...which meant cleaning and preparing food. I asked if there was any specific reason for this, and she said that today is her “sister-in-law’s day.” I asked her to clarify and she explained that 20 years ago, Chandra-ji’s sister passed away during childbirth while carrying two children. This was not the answer I was expecting....which threw me off and made me feel incredibly sad. She saw that I was really affected and she said “No, no, no, no, we’re remembering her! It’s not a sad day.!”

She said that today, they plan on cooking her favorite foods, including paneer. So, we having paneer for dinner tonight along with some of her other favorite dishes. My host-mom also told me that I’m not allowed to go in the kitchen today because it’s been thoroughly cleaned and is only meant to be used by the family for cooking her meal. I’ve grown to accept the rituals and customs that happen here, whether or not I understand them.

My host-mom also said that every year on this day, they give clothing to two children, usually beggar children, as a way to remember her children. She then told me a story about her brother who lost his dog to a fatal snake bite and now every time he eats, he gives two chapati to a street dog. 

I asked her if it is normal for people here to celebrate deaths just as much as birthdays (and birthdays, they DO celebrate...extravagantly.) She said that they do. I told her how in America, many (not all) people are afraid to talk about death and avoid even bringing it up, let alone celebrating it. 

I find it really beautiful that my host-family does all of these things in remembrance of their loved ones, people or animals. Not only is it beautiful and poignant, but it seems like it’s a really healthy way to deal with loss, something that we all inevitably experience at some point.