The first few days of my ISP have been an interesting time to say the least. I've been set up by one of my Hindi teachers to stay at her family's old chemical factory 15 minutes outside of Jaipur with the "caretaker" family of the factory. She's also set me up with a family friend with connections in the local villages to organize interviews with village women and to interpret for me.
I didn't have much of a say in the planning of this first part of my ISP and let my Hindi teacher take the reigns because I have absolutely NO connections here! I didn't ask too many questions during the process for fear of giving off the impression that I was distrustful of her plans for me.....*foreshadowing*
Anywho, my Hindi teacher and her brother drove me to their factory, which was in the industrial part of Jaipur- the not-so-pretty section if the city that most people don't really have any reason to visit. My Hindi teacher told me a while back that I shouldn't be out past 6:00pm because it's not the safest most family-friendly area- the labor workers (all men) live above the factories they work in and apparently things get pretty rowdy at night. Even with this information, I agreed to stay there because I don't have a sense of what's normal or not normal anymore.
When we reached the factory, we walked around the back corner to a "house"- for a lack of a better term- which consisted of a clay floor and four roofed rooms- one bathroom, one room with a bed (for me) and two other rooms that looked like they were used for storing things (clothes, dishes, food.) I was greeted by a group of 7 or 8 people-old women, men, some children, and a goat- which I soon realized was the family pet and behaves more like a dog than my own dog does. I asked my teacher if they all lived here and she said that only 3 of them did- the rest came to visit because they knew I was coming. This may sound awkward but I've gotten used to feeling a spectacle- and FYI this is not an ego-booster at all. If anything, it makes me very self-conscious. Example: Last night, two 20-something year-old men just moseyed on into the house, said nothing to the family, stood 10 feet away from me, watched me eat my dinner, and left when I was finished. I'm starting to tire of the "Oh, they're just curious" explanation. I hope that my constant focus on women's rights and women's oppression in India doesn't jade me against Indian men!
So... to backtrack...The father showed me my room and my teacher and her brother exchanged a few words with them and left. Woo independence! I unpacked my things and decided that I should at least go out in the open area to be around the family. They started asking me questions in Hindi....and I was barely able to respond! I pulled out things like "mujhe aapke chai pasand hai" (I like your tea) and "kursi nahi chahie" (i don't need a chair.) It was really embarrassing actually- I would not have made my Hindi teacher proud.
I sat and read by the clay stove as the mother rolled out chapati dough for dinner and tended the fire. The goat was roaming around the area munching on a tree branch that was hanging from a clothesline and the grandmother was washing clothes on the pavement. Had it not been for the constant truck honking and pounding metal in the background, I could have fallen asleep right there.
Day 2:
Woke up to the daughter bringing me chai and a packet of "Parle-Glucose Biscuits" for breakfast- the most common snack in India,i t seems. I ate them in my room by myself whilst watching an episode of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy on my laptop. As the Fab-5 were talking about manicures, mint-infused hair serum and Armenian chocolate, I was covering myself in Deet mosquito spray and mixing my chlorine-dioxide water drops into a cup of tap water so I wouldn't catch any water-borne illnesses (which I'm pretty sure I've failed at at least a few times.) I've accepted that I'm most likely going to have some kind of sickness throughout my time here. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger? Or just really dehydrated?
In the afternoon, my interpreter showed up and we talked for a bit about his job and family while waiting for his driver to meet us (he came to the factory via motorcycle- but as part of the legal obligations of my program- I'm not allowed to ride on one (along with bungee-jumping and zip-lining?) He told me that he is a lawyer for the Rajasthani high court- was not expecting that one. But it was beginning to make sense because he 1.) dressed very well 2.) had his own personal driver and 3.) was always on his phone. I all of a sudden realized that my planned 200 IND per day payment would be INSULTING to him- so I'm planning on getting him a gift instead? We'll see what happens.
The driver showed up, and we drove 10 minutes to a village called Aknela and approached a BEAUTIFUL house- decorated in the typical Hindu red and gold paint (colors of wealth and prosperity) along with swastiks painted above all of the doors and windows (a symbol of peace.) We sat down and three married women came out and huddled together under the doorway. (I can tell they're married just by how they cover their face with their scarves) along with the more obvious red paste they smudge on the middle top part of their forehead- right in-between the hair part. After some coercing them to come and sit with us (village women tend to be very shy), I asked them my set of questions including:
-Do you have a personal or joint bank account? (Most women didn't have a bank account at all)
-Do you plan on choosing your daughter's husband for her? (Most said yes)
-Do you make your own money? (Most don't generate any source of income and rely on asking their husbands for money)
-What standard are you educated? (Education levels differ from the states- but most women are educated up until the 3rd grade (American level) or standard 5 (Indian level.)
-What do you want for your children when they grow up? (Most want their girls to be teachers and their boys to be policemen- almost everybody said they want their children to have government jobs-because government jobs are high paying and rarely fire their employees.)
-Do you have to seek permission from your husband to leave your house? (Most do- but most women said that they don't even leave their house.)
-What do you do in your free time? (Most said- Rest. Which after hearing what their responsibilities were- an exhaustive list that began at 5:00am with milking the water buffalo to 9:00pm with bathing her children- I can understand why all they want to do is sleep.)
It was really interesting and I learned a lot about how difficult rural women's lives are. Most of their answers were what I was expecting (and what I was hoping to get to support my hypothesis for my research paper.) But what I didn't expect is that even though these village women have little to no control over their lives, they are aware of the oppression that they're under. They KNOW they're under appreciated. They KNOW they're overworked. They KNOW that their husbands have control over them- but they feel that this patriarchal system of oppression has too much power over them and is too deeply rooted in their society and that they aren't powerful enough to change it without completely exiling themselves from their family and community. Is it worth it? In a small, isolating village where people rarely leave, it's usually not.
Which brings me to one other question I asked the women: "If you could change anything about your life, what would it be?" Almost every woman sad that she wished she had a better education. When I asked what education would have done for them, they listed things off like "I could have made my own money and not have to ask my husband for $ to buy food" or "I could have gotten out of this village and gone to the city."
Day 3-
I was beginning to feel cramped and isolated in the factory, and after two long days of interviewing village women and their families (which was very valuable...but I realized that after the 3rd interview, that most of the information I'd get would be the same..or at least very similar,) I decided to leave and come back into Jaipur city until I leave for Sikkim on Friday (plus it's saves me moneys!) The home-stay coordinator, the lovely Rama-ji, who seems to know EVERYBODY in Jaipur, set me up to spend the night at one of the other home-stay family's homes- Neelimi-ji and her husband. They have their own pre-school where they're responsible for over 50 younglings ranging from 15 months old to 6 years old. I asked her if I could come in an interview some of her staff about female education, and she said sure!
After a long day of interviews and packing and unpacking, the Neelimi-ji said that they were going to go to her sister-in-law's son's birthday party- and they invited me along. I was exhausted, but I thought hey, when am I going to get the chance to go to a 9-year old Indian boy's birthday party again? We reached sister-in-law's house and were greeted by at least 10 people- 3 grandmothers sitting in the corner watching an Indian soap-opera, 3 young children running around the house, 1 very disinterested teenage girl, and a bunch of happy middle-aged couples drinking tomato soup from chai cups. To my good luck, mostly everybody spoke English! This made the night so much more enjoyable.
*SIDE NOTE*- I'm fascinated by Indian homes. They all have that one interesting piece of furniture (or lack there of- like in my old home-stay with the Bhatts whose "living room" consisted of a whole lot of floor mats and pillows lining the walls- a PERFECT place to nap.) This house in particular had a bronze-looking chain-linked swinging couch hanging from the ceiling covered in little bronze bells with the occasional perching bronze parrot hanging off a chain loop.... This description probably doesn't give you the most accurate visual, but I literally cannot think of any other way to describe what this...ride?...was. Yet, it was super comfortable to sit on and rock. And the bells added a nice little ambiance.
I could go on in detail about what this Indian birthday party was like and how it was SOO different from America, but surprisingly, had it not been for the Krishna wall-hangings, I might as well have been back in New York. We ate good food and talked about school and family and life and what not, sang happy birthday to the boy, ate cake, and opened presents. It felt really familiar which was such a nice feeling to have again.
I didn't have much of a say in the planning of this first part of my ISP and let my Hindi teacher take the reigns because I have absolutely NO connections here! I didn't ask too many questions during the process for fear of giving off the impression that I was distrustful of her plans for me.....*foreshadowing*
Anywho, my Hindi teacher and her brother drove me to their factory, which was in the industrial part of Jaipur- the not-so-pretty section if the city that most people don't really have any reason to visit. My Hindi teacher told me a while back that I shouldn't be out past 6:00pm because it's not the safest most family-friendly area- the labor workers (all men) live above the factories they work in and apparently things get pretty rowdy at night. Even with this information, I agreed to stay there because I don't have a sense of what's normal or not normal anymore.
When we reached the factory, we walked around the back corner to a "house"- for a lack of a better term- which consisted of a clay floor and four roofed rooms- one bathroom, one room with a bed (for me) and two other rooms that looked like they were used for storing things (clothes, dishes, food.) I was greeted by a group of 7 or 8 people-old women, men, some children, and a goat- which I soon realized was the family pet and behaves more like a dog than my own dog does. I asked my teacher if they all lived here and she said that only 3 of them did- the rest came to visit because they knew I was coming. This may sound awkward but I've gotten used to feeling a spectacle- and FYI this is not an ego-booster at all. If anything, it makes me very self-conscious. Example: Last night, two 20-something year-old men just moseyed on into the house, said nothing to the family, stood 10 feet away from me, watched me eat my dinner, and left when I was finished. I'm starting to tire of the "Oh, they're just curious" explanation. I hope that my constant focus on women's rights and women's oppression in India doesn't jade me against Indian men!
So... to backtrack...The father showed me my room and my teacher and her brother exchanged a few words with them and left. Woo independence! I unpacked my things and decided that I should at least go out in the open area to be around the family. They started asking me questions in Hindi....and I was barely able to respond! I pulled out things like "mujhe aapke chai pasand hai" (I like your tea) and "kursi nahi chahie" (i don't need a chair.) It was really embarrassing actually- I would not have made my Hindi teacher proud.
I sat and read by the clay stove as the mother rolled out chapati dough for dinner and tended the fire. The goat was roaming around the area munching on a tree branch that was hanging from a clothesline and the grandmother was washing clothes on the pavement. Had it not been for the constant truck honking and pounding metal in the background, I could have fallen asleep right there.
Day 2:
Woke up to the daughter bringing me chai and a packet of "Parle-Glucose Biscuits" for breakfast- the most common snack in India,i t seems. I ate them in my room by myself whilst watching an episode of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy on my laptop. As the Fab-5 were talking about manicures, mint-infused hair serum and Armenian chocolate, I was covering myself in Deet mosquito spray and mixing my chlorine-dioxide water drops into a cup of tap water so I wouldn't catch any water-borne illnesses (which I'm pretty sure I've failed at at least a few times.) I've accepted that I'm most likely going to have some kind of sickness throughout my time here. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger? Or just really dehydrated?
In the afternoon, my interpreter showed up and we talked for a bit about his job and family while waiting for his driver to meet us (he came to the factory via motorcycle- but as part of the legal obligations of my program- I'm not allowed to ride on one (along with bungee-jumping and zip-lining?) He told me that he is a lawyer for the Rajasthani high court- was not expecting that one. But it was beginning to make sense because he 1.) dressed very well 2.) had his own personal driver and 3.) was always on his phone. I all of a sudden realized that my planned 200 IND per day payment would be INSULTING to him- so I'm planning on getting him a gift instead? We'll see what happens.
The driver showed up, and we drove 10 minutes to a village called Aknela and approached a BEAUTIFUL house- decorated in the typical Hindu red and gold paint (colors of wealth and prosperity) along with swastiks painted above all of the doors and windows (a symbol of peace.) We sat down and three married women came out and huddled together under the doorway. (I can tell they're married just by how they cover their face with their scarves) along with the more obvious red paste they smudge on the middle top part of their forehead- right in-between the hair part. After some coercing them to come and sit with us (village women tend to be very shy), I asked them my set of questions including:
-Do you have a personal or joint bank account? (Most women didn't have a bank account at all)
-Do you plan on choosing your daughter's husband for her? (Most said yes)
-Do you make your own money? (Most don't generate any source of income and rely on asking their husbands for money)
-What standard are you educated? (Education levels differ from the states- but most women are educated up until the 3rd grade (American level) or standard 5 (Indian level.)
-What do you want for your children when they grow up? (Most want their girls to be teachers and their boys to be policemen- almost everybody said they want their children to have government jobs-because government jobs are high paying and rarely fire their employees.)
-Do you have to seek permission from your husband to leave your house? (Most do- but most women said that they don't even leave their house.)
-What do you do in your free time? (Most said- Rest. Which after hearing what their responsibilities were- an exhaustive list that began at 5:00am with milking the water buffalo to 9:00pm with bathing her children- I can understand why all they want to do is sleep.)
It was really interesting and I learned a lot about how difficult rural women's lives are. Most of their answers were what I was expecting (and what I was hoping to get to support my hypothesis for my research paper.) But what I didn't expect is that even though these village women have little to no control over their lives, they are aware of the oppression that they're under. They KNOW they're under appreciated. They KNOW they're overworked. They KNOW that their husbands have control over them- but they feel that this patriarchal system of oppression has too much power over them and is too deeply rooted in their society and that they aren't powerful enough to change it without completely exiling themselves from their family and community. Is it worth it? In a small, isolating village where people rarely leave, it's usually not.
Which brings me to one other question I asked the women: "If you could change anything about your life, what would it be?" Almost every woman sad that she wished she had a better education. When I asked what education would have done for them, they listed things off like "I could have made my own money and not have to ask my husband for $ to buy food" or "I could have gotten out of this village and gone to the city."
Day 3-
I was beginning to feel cramped and isolated in the factory, and after two long days of interviewing village women and their families (which was very valuable...but I realized that after the 3rd interview, that most of the information I'd get would be the same..or at least very similar,) I decided to leave and come back into Jaipur city until I leave for Sikkim on Friday (plus it's saves me moneys!) The home-stay coordinator, the lovely Rama-ji, who seems to know EVERYBODY in Jaipur, set me up to spend the night at one of the other home-stay family's homes- Neelimi-ji and her husband. They have their own pre-school where they're responsible for over 50 younglings ranging from 15 months old to 6 years old. I asked her if I could come in an interview some of her staff about female education, and she said sure!
After a long day of interviews and packing and unpacking, the Neelimi-ji said that they were going to go to her sister-in-law's son's birthday party- and they invited me along. I was exhausted, but I thought hey, when am I going to get the chance to go to a 9-year old Indian boy's birthday party again? We reached sister-in-law's house and were greeted by at least 10 people- 3 grandmothers sitting in the corner watching an Indian soap-opera, 3 young children running around the house, 1 very disinterested teenage girl, and a bunch of happy middle-aged couples drinking tomato soup from chai cups. To my good luck, mostly everybody spoke English! This made the night so much more enjoyable.
*SIDE NOTE*- I'm fascinated by Indian homes. They all have that one interesting piece of furniture (or lack there of- like in my old home-stay with the Bhatts whose "living room" consisted of a whole lot of floor mats and pillows lining the walls- a PERFECT place to nap.) This house in particular had a bronze-looking chain-linked swinging couch hanging from the ceiling covered in little bronze bells with the occasional perching bronze parrot hanging off a chain loop.... This description probably doesn't give you the most accurate visual, but I literally cannot think of any other way to describe what this...ride?...was. Yet, it was super comfortable to sit on and rock. And the bells added a nice little ambiance.
I could go on in detail about what this Indian birthday party was like and how it was SOO different from America, but surprisingly, had it not been for the Krishna wall-hangings, I might as well have been back in New York. We ate good food and talked about school and family and life and what not, sang happy birthday to the boy, ate cake, and opened presents. It felt really familiar which was such a nice feeling to have again.
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