Diwali in a Sikkimese Village

Just as I did in Rajasthan, I needed to spend time in a rural village in Sikkim to talk with the women and their families. My advisor set me up to go to South Sikkim to the village of Lingee-Payong- a 4 hour Jeep drive from Gangtok. This ride would have given anyone motion sickness. I felt like I was going to pass out at one point from the many turns, bumps, and elevation changes.

 I paid for one seat in a shared Jeep- and at first I was the only one in the vehicle- which was quite lovely- but that didn’t last very long. The driver would stop every half hour to either pick a few people up, drop some off, grab a bag from a woman standing on the side of a road, and my favorite- pick up a couple carton of eggs- which the driver tied down on top of the front of the car with RIBBON and proceeded to drive the next 2 hours without breaking them. I don’t think there could be anything more fragile to put on the top of a moving vehicle. 

Along the ride, I made some friends with a young couple that was sitting behind me. The woman was a beauty parlor owner and the husband was a filmmaker. Had I not spoken with them, I would have assumed they were teenage siblings. They asked me questions about America- I’ve come up with my “go-to” set of answers to such questions. Example: What do people eat in America? Answer- Sandwiches. It took me a while to come up with a sufficient answer to this question. I used to say hot dogs, but I didn’t want everyone to think that all Americans ate processed meat product all the time. Plus ,sandwiches can include vegetarians! This is another stereotype I keep hearing about Americans. Many people assume Americans eat beef 24-7 (which does have some truth to it- we are the largest consumers of beef in the world.) But when I tell them I’m vegetarian, they usually don’t believe me. 

The beauty shop woman and I had some good conversation about her family and my family. She asked me what I missed about home and I said I missed the little convenient things like being able to change my nail polish when I want to. She then pulled out nail polish remover pads and a bright orange bottle of nail polish and told me to go at it. After 3 months of barely showering and wearing the same shirt for 4 days on end, it was SO WONDERFUL to paint my nails again and do something that felt a little bit “extravagant.” 

5 hours later in the pitch dark, the jeep pulled over and the driver told me this was my stop. All I knew at this point was that there was some family somewhere nearby that just found out the day before that an American girl would be coming to stay with them. I got out and a man wearing an argyle sweater and a traditional Nepali hat greeted me in English, took my giant-overpacked bag, and led me down a VERY steep path of stone stairs by way of a flashlight (aka “torch”- what they call it here.) I saw lights below me (literally BELOW me) and when we reached flat ground, a 60+ year old looking man with a gentle face and a jockey hat greeted me. His name was S. K. and he led me through the house, past a woman sitting on a mat stringing marigolds on a rope,  ast two little children blowing up balloons to a room with 2 beds, a couch, and a whole lot of framed awards hanging on the walls. It reminded me of that scene from the movie, Garden State where Zach Braff’s character is sitting in the doctor’s office. (My apologies if you don’t get that reference!)

View from my homestay home in Lingee-Payong, Sikkim. SO BEAUTIFUL. There are marigold flowers everywhere.

It felt like a combination of the “first-day-of-school” and a job interview. S.K. and I made small talk as a woman brought me tea and these fried dough-looking items. I found out later that they’re called “sael roti” and are a popular food made during Diwali. *SIDE NOTE* I just happened to show up on the first official day of Diwali! I couldn’t have been in a better place to see how it’s all really celebrated. More deets to come later on.* Anywho, S.K. told me he was an arts teacher in the local government middle school. He said he specializes in making upcycled handicrafts from waste paper and seeds/fruit pits. He also paints murals for schools to educate the students about environmental problems (deforestation and pollution) and natural processes (like the water cycle and plant life cycles.) He brought out a photo album which I thought was going to be photos of his family, but was actually a huge album filled with letters of recognition and awards given to S.K. for his teaching. He won the “National Teacher’s Award” in 2011 and was honored in Delhi by the president of India. So in short- this guy’s legit. I told him that I did art too and showed him some of my pieces on my laptop- and we had a bonding moment! 

Later on, I sat down with the family- (which consists of the grandfather, his wife (the grandmother,) their son and his wife (the mother-in-law,) and their two children- an 8 year-old girl naked Pritika and a 10 year-old boy named Prakesh- in the “fire room” (my coined term.) This room consists of a small clay fire pit in the middle of the floor with straw mats surrounding it. They said they spend a lot of time here in the winter- as it gets even colder than it is right now (which is hard to believe.) They wanted to see pictures of my family so I brought out my bag of photos I’ve been carrying around with me. They were really interested in learning about what my mother and father did, how close my family was, and what New York CIty is like (because everyone assumes I'm from the city when I say I live in New York State.) We then ate a traditional Nepali dinner consisting of a HUGE plate of rice, a small dollop of “firecracker” chutney (made of pickled hot....very hot chilies,) some dal (a soupy lentil dish,) pumpkin, and some sael roti- all of this was made by the mother-in-law from scratch...they even grew and harvested their own rice.

They told me that later in the night there would be a traditional dance called “Dhosi” in their front courtyard of their house. Boys and girls from around the village go from house to house preforming this dhosi dance- which consists of walking around a decorated tree of some sort as members of the group take turns telling the story of Ram, a figurehead in  the Hindu tradition. The first group arrived (5 preteen boys and 2 teenage girls.) They were somehow related to my host family- although, I'm starting to think that everyone in this village is related somehow- even the taxi driver that brought me here had the same last name as my host family. Anywho, they started clapping and moving around the circle- as the one person would tell the story (in Nepali,) the rest of the group would repeat “Bhai ya dhosi” after every verse. I joined in with the teenage girls- who I had been talking to on the sidelines for a while. Apparently the translator I had been set up with to work with later in the week was their older brother.

Village men doing the Dhosi dance in traditional Nepali clothing

The family then invited me to do their Diwali “puja” (prayer) with them. I felt a little awkward joining them- as I had just shown up at their house for the first time a few hours ago- and now I was going to join them in the most important puja in the Hindu calender. Buy they insisted- and I went into a back room to a shrine that was covered in family photos, marigolds, rupee notes, burning incense sticks, and various metal bowls filled with offerings. (I cannot possibly begin to interpret what everything meant. I’ll try to give you the most objective description of what was going on- because anything that I come up with as an explanation will be minimized to the point that it’ll be insulting.) The little girl held a bell and rang it back and forth. The boy had a small drum and played it in synch with the bell.  The father had a conch shell and he’d blow it every few minutes all while the family repeated a series of chants in unison. The grandmother crushed up marigold flowers and threw them over the shrine. The mother then gave me “tika” on my forehead- a combination of rice and saffron colored paste and then put some more in my hands and told me to keep my hands in a praying position. I just stood there trying not to do anything that would ruin the moment. It all was so beautiful and intricate and I felt so fortunate to experience it with them. I’ve gotten used to experiencing things that I literally do not understand one bit of- and over time I’ve become more and more comfortable with feeling out of place- it’s exciting and challenging and I really kind of enjoy it.

The next morning, I woke up at 5:00am to bustling noises and yelling outside of my room. I got up a little while later and  was greeted by a 20-something year-old woman and man sitting with the rest of the famly drinking tea. Turns out it was the grandparent’s daughter- who had some from Gangtok with her husband for the second day of Diwali- the “Bhai Tika”- literally “the Brother Blessing.” This day is devoted solely for brothers- sisters travel to their brother’s houses to give them blessings (in the form of muti-colored tika, marigold garlands, and a few other rituals like putting oil in their hair combing their hair) as well as gifts (usually an article of clothing and sweets.) The main purpose of bhai tika is to ensure that the brothers have a prosperous life.

 The whole family sat in the fire-room amongst candles and flowers and the daughter went around in a circle and put paste on each of the member’s foreheads. The process lasted for at least a half hour. She put at least 6 different colors of tika on them. She put oil on her brother’s head and rubbed it in and combed it. She put a flower garland over his head and gave him a gift. Everyone then clapped- I'm assuming this meant the ceremony was completed? This whole time, I had been standing outside of the room acting as the group's photographer. I wasn’t allowed into the room (which I was relieved about) so I stood outside just watching and taking photos for them with the grandmother’s camera. 

Host brother wearing his traditional Nepali clothing and tika for Diwali 

Two other groups of family members came to the house throughout the day and preformed the same series of rituals. One group was the grandmother’s brother and his family (the grandmother did the tika) and the other group was the mother-in-law’s brother and his family (the mother-in-law did the tika for them.) *SIDE NOTE*- Remember how I said Danielle from SIT and UVM was in Gangtok with me earlier in the week? She just happened to be placed in this same village- Lingee Payong. Her home-stay was a 5 minute walk from my house- and her family was not celebrating Diwali this year because they had a death in the family- and it is custom to not celebrate any holiday for a year after the family member passes away. So...she came over to my house! The family then told us to come into the fire room- and told us that we could give tike to their son, 10-year old Prakesh. I awkwardly dipped my fingers in the tika paste and put it on his already covered forehead. Danielle did the same and we each chose different colors of dye to put on him. The grandmother handed me a marigold garland and I put it over him. Then!....Prakesh gave tika to us! They even gave us a gift- a towel....which I was actually desperately in need of. We all took photos afterwards. It was pretty much the best thing ever. 

Host father- Prakesh, host mother- Tara, host brother- Pragil, and host sister, Pragita

All the ladies- the girl on the right is Danielle, my fellow UVMer. 

A banana tree and some orange trees. They gave me a big bag of their oranges as I left! 

Another view of the AMAZING view. 

Host-grandfather (favorite human EVER) and host-grandmother. She didn't speak English and I didn't speak Nepali, so I couldn't get to know her that well. But from the interactions we did have, I can tell she's a sassy, wonderful lady.

Inside the "fire room" after the Bhai-Tika ceremony.